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Do you have any “talkers” in your life?  You know what I mean, people who just keep talking and won’t let you get a word in?  We’ve all got them, at work, at home, neighbors, friends, even people we run into at the grocery store!  What do you do when you’ve got to actually communicate something?  Check out these tips to see what might work:

Tip 1:  Remember, when dealing with a talker it’s about them, not about you.  They want to be heard and won’t be interested in what you have to say until they feel heard.  It’s important to let them get the emotion out and work toward a neutral zone, before you share your opinion.

Tip 2:  Wait it out.  After each lull in the conversation, summarize as best you can, “I hear that your saying ….”  After you summarize you say, is there anything else?  If the person continues to talk, repeat the summary of what was just said and then follow up by is there anything else?  When the person talking gets to the point that he/she feels they are heard they will stop.  That is when you say:  “Would you like my opinion or solutions to this problem?”

Tip 3:  When you see the “talker” coming and you know they want to talk, strongly but firmly interrupt the talker and clarify by asking:  “Do you want me to just listen or are you looking for solutions?  If you’d like a solution, I’d be happy to listen; if you’re hear to vent, could we do this another time?” – or listen if you do have time.

Tip 4:  You’re in a meeting and someone always seems to dominate the meeting.

Gender differences may be coming into play.  Generally men talk without a gap and women practice more interactive communication methods.  Women usually pause as they are speaking which provides an opening for you to add your opinion.  You need to break into the conversation.

Don’t “ask”, in other words don’t say “Would you like my ideas…?”  Just barrel ahead with your thoughts.  Also, lose the words “In my opinion”, everything you say is your opinion, don’t weaken your case.

If this is a chronic problem in meetings, you can ask the meeting organizer to be placed on the agenda beforehand.  This will give you a formal time in which to present your ideas and opinions.

What do you do when you’ve got a “talker”?  What’s worked for you?  Share your comments below!

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