Guilty
The definition of guilt is: an experience that occurs when a person believes that they have violated a moral standard. My working definition is: the bad feeling a person has when they believe they should be doing something else. So many people seem to carry around guilt as a badge of honor. When they’re at work, they feel they should be at home, when they’re at home they feel they should devote more time to work. The operable word here is “should”. Whenever you use “should” you’re not taking responsibility for your own choices. Somehow you’re giving your power to… Continue reading
Do I have to?
I read a statistic the other day – 57% of men have negotiated their salary – contrast that with 7% of women. Some of my clients find the art of negotiation a very confusing subject. They don’t know where to begin. Following are some tips to the negotiation process. See what might work for you.
1. The Mars/Venus relationship needs to be top of mind in business negotiations. Communication styles between men and women are different and as a result, negotiations can be complex. Keep your communication style direct by sharing plans, not concepts. Think collaboration not confrontation.
2. Use… Continue reading
To be or not to be….
Whether you’re interviewing for a new job, or enjoying your current job, employers are interested that you’re doing something rather than being something. Many people I work with want to “be” the boss, “be” a manager or “be” the next [fill in the blank].
To keep on track you may consider some of these tips:
Tip 1: Why? Ask yourself why do you want to “be” the [fill in the blank]. What about the position appeals to you? It may be a position that helps you grow and challenges you. The position may use your strengths. If your answer is… Continue reading
Control
There are things in life you can control and a whole lot more you can’t. It’s always a mystery to me how people get so frustrated trying to control things that aren’t in their control and will never be. Lots of hours and energy could be redirected onto areas that they do have control over.
Here are some tips to think about.
Tip 1: Is it important to you? Put the situation into perspective, not everything has equal importance. Perhaps you want to be part of a project – is it because your colleague is on the project team or… Continue reading
Assertive vs. Aggressive
There are many definitions for assertive and aggressive behavior in the workplace. The definition that works for me is:
To be assertive, you are confident and direct in putting forward your views. To be aggressive, you are trying to control someone else. Aggression is a form of intimidation.
I recently read an article in the Harvard Business Review that points out leaders need to work on being assertive. “More harm is done when people aren’t assertive enough than by being too assertive.” Keeping your opinions and ideas hidden doesn’t get you anywhere.
Couple your leadership skills with assertiveness and you’ll… Continue reading
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