Emotionally Self-Reliant

zenhabitsI follow a blog called "Zen Habits".  It is very well written and continues to remind me of some very important things in life.  Following is an exerpt from the latest blog post – I think you'll find this interesting.

We look for happiness from others, but this is an unreliable source of happiness. Other people will come and go, or they’ll be emotionally unavailable for their own personal reasons.

And here’s the thing: it’s not their job to fill our emotional needs. They are struggling trying to meet their own needs.

So instead of looking for happiness from someone… Continue reading

Gold Star

Are you competitive?  Do you always have to be first?  When you’re not first, do you think less of yourself?  Being competitive is great.  It can be a wonderful motivator to strive to do more and to do better.

It’s also fun to let others win and come in first.  Some supervisors and managers feel compelled to be better and smarter than their staff members.  They think the way to earn their subordinates’ respect is to know more or do better.  In reality, respect is earned through actions, not just what you know.

What actions are you taking?  Following are… Continue reading

Ping Pong

Do you ever feel like a ping pong ball being bounced around every day?  Think about your actions.  Who are you rewarding?  Disrupters or schedulers?  How are you training people to interact with you?  Do you give your attention to squeaky wheels?  Whose agenda is it anyway – yours or are you allowing it to be someone else calling the shots?

Factoid:  If you’re looking at emails as they come in you are allowing someone else to manage your time.

Factoid:  If you’re looking at texts as they come in you are allowing someone else to manage your… Continue reading

Searching for the Noun?

When you’re working it’s common to define your self as what you do.  At a social gathering or networking event you are a [fill in the blank] lawyer, doctor, CEO, manager, etc.

What happens when that goes away?  You may be out of a job, retiring, changing careers or have decided to stay home with your young family.  There may be times where your definition of self is not as clear as it used to be.

Tip one:  Embrace the loss.  There is a sense of loss when your identity is in transition and you’re no longer a [fill… Continue reading

Say it, believe it, become it!

I’ve attended, listened to and read all kinds of self development and motivational seminars, tapes and books.  Almost every one has something about self talk.  What we say to ourselves is what we believe and what we will become – or what we are.  Easy concept!

Taking an easy concept like self talk and using it to personal advantage can be difficult.  The reason is our thoughts are routed in habits.  Most of my behavior is routed in habits.  Habits are great – they save so much time and energy.  Habits can also keep me from trying new things, thinking… Continue reading