Being Present

There is one tip that I can give you which will help you achieve the strongest relationships.  Be fully present when communicating with someone – in person, on the phone, texting, email or Skype.  Give that person your full and undivided attention during your communication.  You might think you already do that or that you can “multi-task” during your conversation.  Following are some thoughts on being fully present.

Thought 1:  You can’t “multi-task”.  The other person can always tell that you’re doing something in addition to talking – whether it is in person or over the phone.  Think about when a child wants your attention when you’re doing something else, they will be very direct with you until you stop what you’re doing.  When you “multi-task” you are showing the other person they are not important.

Thought 2:  Practice.  For one day practice being fully present.  That means doing one thing at a time and only that one thing.  If you’re talking on the phone, close the computer, close your door, close your eyes.  Just talk to the person on the other end and shut out everything else.  If your talking in person, look directly at the person and shut out all distractions.  When writing an email, visualize the person you’re writing to and re-read the email before you hit send.

Thought 3:  Keep practicing.  As you practice, see what changes in your relationships.  You should begin to notice when others are not fully present with you.  See how this makes you feel and what you might have been doing to others.  Many times others will mimic your behavior.  Others will start to give you their full attention.

Thought 4:  Slow down.  Being present isn’t only about communication.  Being present in every moment takes practice.  It’s about slowing down your mind to focus on what is right in front of you.  Don’t worry about the past, don’t anticipate the future, just focus on the task at hand.  It can be as simple as noticing everything when walking down the hall at the office – work on stopping your mind and look around – you may be surprised at what you see.

Thought 5:  Opportunity.  When you’re fully present more opportunities will appear.  You may be amazed at what you’ve been missing.  Fully concentrating on the conversation you’re having or what is happening around you in real time opens up all kinds of avenues.

Thought 6:  Efficient.  Because you are fully present, your conversations will be quicker and deeper.  When you’re fully present in completing your tasks, your focus will allow you to complete things effectively taking care of all the necessary details.

Give some of these thoughts a try and see what your experience is.  If you have any further thoughts about being fully present, please share them.  Leave your comments below.

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