Best Friend

This month is devoted to relationships.  Business, your career and life are built on relationships with others.  Relationships start with how you feel about you – how you treat yourself.  If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I play golf.  One of my golfing partners said something that has stuck by me – “I would never speak to someone else and say the things I say to myself on the golf course.”  Golf can be a frustrating game.  Here is what she was referring to:

Golf tip one:  The drive.  Each hole begins with your drive.  It can be straight, a hook, short, long, spectacular or really bad.  The point is that you’ve started.  The ball is going forward – in the direction you want or perhaps you don’t.  You’ve always got another chance to place the ball where you want it on the next shot.  In business and your career,  you’ve got to start – get into action.  The first attempt at your “drive” may not be perfect.  You’ve got a chance to make it right with the next step.  Beating yourself up about your first step most likely will foul up the second.  Let it go and concentrate on the present, what you can do now.

Golf tip two:  Your partners.  When you’re playing golf you are playing with others.  When you see a shot, good or bad, it’s easy to say to your partner – great shot, bad break, you’ll get it next time.  There’s encouragement and empathy during your game.  Rarely do we turn that same encouragement and empathy on ourselves.  Next time you’re ready to beat yourself up or diminish something you’ve done well, think about what you’d say to a partner, colleague or friend.  Share the same with yourself.

Golf tip three:  Advice.  Many times during a golf game others will share what they would do, which club to use, where to aim the ball, where to place the putt.  Some of the advice is great, right on and very useful.  Some of the advice is not that great and will lead you astray.  Listen to advice throughout your career and business, act on what seems right to you, use your instincts, you make the decision on what to do.  Blindly following what other people suggest, without deciding what is right for you, will put you off your game.

Golf tip four:  The best.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of judging yourself against other people’s strengths.  You’ve got great shots and poor shots – so do the professional players.  Concentrate on your good shots – what you do very well and better than most.  Practice what you can improve.  Take lessons and training.  There will always be someone who can do things a bit better than you.  Accept that, learn from that, take the judgement of your own abilities out of it.  Stay focused on what you can do, not what others do better than you.

Golf tip five:  Play alone.  From time to time I enjoy playing a game of golf all alone.  It helps me to focus on my game.  The solitude helps me get into my own game without the distraction of what others are doing.  It takes the pressure off of feeling others are watching.  Taking time to be alone helps you develop the relationship with yourself.  Take a 15 minute walk by yourself without technology, you may enjoy meeting your best friend!

Do you have tips that can strengthen your relationship with yourself?  Tips to stop any negative thoughts?  Leave your comments below.

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