Commitment

I’ve long believed the universe sends messages to each one of us everyday.  Lots of times we don’t notice them or believe they are messages.  Sometimes they are too strong to ignore – because they keep repeating themselves.  During the last three days I’ve gotten the same message three times, in different forms.  I was wondering why I was getting increasingly annoyed until I linked all three together.  They were examples of commitment – or more precisely, the lack of commitment.

The strongest way to build trust, relationships and reputation is by doing what we say we’ll do, commitment.  Rationalizing, bending deadlines and backing out of what we’ve committed to defeats what we’re building – the strong bond of reputation with others.  Here are three situations that just happened.  None of which had a direct impact on me other than to illustrate my commitment – to what I commit to.

Example 1:  A group I am involved with was having several individuals present speaking topics to a panel.  This was to pick speakers for an upcoming lecture series.  One of the individuals backed out the day before saying he was sure we had plenty of speakers for the topic and something had come up.

My view:  When you sign up for something, you do it.  It doesn’t matter if it is something you’ve volunteered for, paid for, can or cannot directly gain from.  Keep your integrity intact – if something doesn’t sound that interesting, don’t sign up – or delay signing up.  When you back out at the last minute, you’re wasting peoples’ time and resources they put into you showing up.

Result:  They won’t be asked to present again.  If they had not signed up in the first place and were interested in participating in the future, they would had many opportunities.

Example 2:  I was talking to a young lady (18) who told me about some plans she and a girl friend had made for the next weekend.  They were both looking forward to seeing others and spending time together.  During our conversation a text came to her and she exclaimed that she’d have to cancel those plans she was just telling me about due to some other friends inviting her to join them doing something else.

My view:  When you cancel because something “better” has come up you will have fewer invitations over the long term.  You’re sending a clear message to the ditched individual that they are not important and certainly not as important as your whims.  It’s not OK to cancel, no matter how compelling the other offer.

Result:  Don’t be surprised if your friend ceases to be there for you.  Don’t be surprised if you have trouble building deep relationships.  You can’t start too young building habits that honor your commitments.

Example 3:  I volunteered to hand out water at a half marathon race.  It was cold, windy, wet and very early.  When I showed up the volunteer co-ordinator said that about half of our group canceled that morning or were just no-shows.

My view:  No-show or last minute cancel, no different in my mind.  Think ahead – too early, exposure to the outdoors, crazy traffic, whatever might be a barrier to your participation – if it is possible, don’t sign up.  You let down the rest of your group.

Result:  We did our best and we had a very fun time!

I always want people to be able to rely on what I say.  Exceptions fall into the illness, hospitalization, accident and natural disaster categories.

What’s your experience?  Do you always do what you say you will?  What happens when something “better” comes along?  How do you handle your commitments?  What advice do you have?  Leave your comments below.

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