Just say “No”

So many people I work with are super busy.  They are up at the crack of dawn looking at their email.  Work hard all day.  Take work home and have their weekends filled to the brim with activities.  Many of these over achievers share something in common.  They can’t seem to say “no” to anyone.  Here are some thoughts about saying “no”.

1.  You’re allowing someone else to set your agenda.  Achievers get things done and others know it.  They get asked to sit on committees, organize events and head up projects because they do get things done.  As a result their time can be filled up with everyone else’s priorities leaving little time to get what they want done.

2.  When you say “no” you’re increasing your value.  You only have so much time.  When you say “no” you’re showing others that your time has tremendous value.  A few strategically placed “no-s” followed by a “yes” once in awhile conveys this value.

3.  Be gracious.  I’m not suggesting you just say “no” and walk away.  Use phrases such as “thank you so much for asking, my schedule is full right now, perhaps another time?”  Acknowledge the request, defer and deflect as best you can.

4.  Think strategically.  Use this especially if your tendency is to automatically say “yes” to each request.  Ask yourself if saying “yes” is in your best interest, do you truly have the time and energy to fulfill the request.  If you can’t or don’t want to do what is being requested, suggest an alternative – perhaps there is another way to accomplish what is being requested or another person to fulfill the request.

5.  Put yourself first.  You’ll never get ahead, achieve great things, if you’re always doing what others want you to do.  Some feel that they are just being helpful.  Helpful is wonderful, but only if you have the time and you get your own work done – see number 1 above.

6.  It can save your job.  I’ve witnessed employees who don’t say “no” and end up losing their jobs.  They’re so eager to please, they put others’ requests before the work they have been hired to do.  Get your own work done first before helping others.

7.  Start small.  Practice saying “no” to some of the small requests before diving into the big ones.  It will get easier over time.

8.  Watch your ego.  Some people pride themselves on how many requests they get from others.  Requests to get involved can be a great honor.  It makes us feel special when others ask for our help to get things done and it should.  Ensure you’re taking those requests that you want to, love to do and have time for.

Do you have trouble saying “no”?  How do you handle requests from other people?  Leave your comments below.

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