PAY ATTENTION!
I was at the driving range the other day and I saw a little girl about 7 years old with her dad. She was hitting the ball sometimes and trading off with her dad. It looked like they were having a lot of fun.
Soon her mom joined them. Mom and Dad started talking. Pretty soon the girl was loudly demanding that both watch her. Mom and Dad would say in unison, “we’re watching”, and return to their conversation. Even though the little girl’s back was to her parents, she could sense that they weren’t watching.
Children aren’t afraid to shout – PAY ATTENTION NOW and know immediately when you’re not. I’ll let you in on a secret, we don’t lose that ability as adults. We know instinctively when someone isn’t paying attention to us. We may have learned not to scream PAY ATTENTION or tug on someone’s pants leg.
What signal do you want to send to your employees and colleagues?
You could keep doing what you’re doing (some call it multi-tasking). This says to others: You’re not important. You have less value than what I’m doing. I don’t care about you.
Try the following experiment and see what happens. Try it for a day or a week.
Experiment: Whenever you are interacting with anyone give them your full attention. I mean everyone – could be the check-out person at the grocery store, your spouse, your co-worker, your employees.
Your full attention means just that, put down your phone, electronic devices, turn away from your computer, whatever is holding your attention before your interaction. Look the person in the eye. Listen closely and carefully to what they are saying.
You might be saying at this point, I already do this. Are you sure? Or you might be thinking, how can I get anything done? I have to multi-task to get everything done!
Try it and you will be surprised. If it is too much, work into it – start with an hour at a time, or half a day.
The benefits will be immediate. You’ll get more done, not less – people will be communicating with you more effectively so they won’t have to come back and repeat the message. You’ll build stronger relationships – you’re showing people that you care about them. You’ll have more energy when you aren’t juggling more than one thing at a time.
Post a comment about your experiment – was it easy or difficult? What reaction did you get from others? What ideas do you have to keep this going?
I can attest to the power of focusing on one item at a time. I find when I'm multi-tasking, nothing is getting my full attention, and when I have to go back to something (which I inevitably have to do) I often have to scratch my head and say, "What was I thinking?"
It's not easy to stop multitasking at first, but it's a habit like anything else. I find that colleagues are much more open to discussion when they know they have my full attention. And they can certainly tell the difference.
I'm a big fan of paying attention to the person or task at hand.
Great post, Holly.
Thanks Lorraine –
Well put! I’ll bet your colleagues find you a great person to work with. It’s such a gift to give someone your full attention. It is so simple and powerful. The next post explores this a little deeper. Thanks for commenting and reading my post. Feel free to pass it along – to someone who might benefit from it!
Holly
Right on, Holly! I know how frustrated I get when I think I'm not getting full attention from someone else, so this really made me realize I do it too. Starting today I will give full attention when communicating and work hard to make it my new habit! Thank you!! You're the BEST!!!
Thanks for the great comment Maggie – it takes a little reminding from time to time! Not always an easy thing. One step at a time!
You’re the Best!! Holly
Very, very good point, and a challenge that may be one of my most difficult. But, OK, you're on, Holly! I will attempt to focus on one person/project at a time … terrifies me to think about it, but already I can sense that people will appreciate it. Thanks for a great article – and challenge!
Jane –
It is difficult. One step at a time – or maybe just 5 minutes at a time. You can add from there. This is something I struggle with and have to remind myself – over and over again! Sometimes its easy and sometimes its hard! Have fun with the experiment.
Thanks for commenting Jane!
Holly