Put Away Childhood

A few years ago I read a very good article that explained why many adults experience so much stress during the holidays.  Not only do we have more things to do during the holidays, we are comparing our holiday experiences to another time – our childhood.  Here are some thoughts on what is happening.

Thought 1:  Eating.  As children our job was to show up at the dinner table and eat what was served.  Children know when they are full and stop eating.  After dinner they might clear the table, most likely they will go off and play.  Carefree holiday meals.  As adults we plan, shop for, pay for and prepare the meal.  If we have guests we might fret about who is coming and who should sit next to whom.  We can easily overeat causing stress to our bodies and feeling the “shoulds” of guilt.  We end up thinking, it wasn’t like this when we were growing up.

Thought 2:  Gifts.  Presents magically appeared when we were children.  Some may have come from Santa, Mom and Dad and/or a special Aunty.  While you may not have gotten everything you asked for, there wasn’t a lot of stress associated with gifts.  Gifts that you gave as children either originated from your creativity or may have been purchased on your behalf by an adult.  Fast forward to adulthood.  You’re responsible for finding, funding, and gathering the gifts.  You may need to assemble and wrap as well.  Long lines, traffic and limited supply can add to the stress of gift giving.  No wonder the holidays are exhausting.

Thought 3:  Logistics.  Growing up I was told where and when we were going somewhere and how we were going to get there.  I might be strapped in a car, put on a bus or train or given the chance for an airplane ride.  There was very little planning ahead on my part – I just had to show up.  As adults the planning can be more complicated than the invasion of Normandy.  If you have an extended family – remarried spouses, four grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins in the area, it can be a nightmare.  The expense and time it can take to get from point A to point B is stress enough.  Attempting to please everyone who has invited you compounds the headache.

Thought 4:  Decorating.  My memories of childhood holidays include a house that looked just right.  We used the same decorations each year and they all had special places throughout the house.  We put the same ornaments on the tree and the same lights outside.  I never noticed anything wearing out or looking shabby.  It was all perfect.  Adults have a tendency to be far more critical than children.  We may re-engineer things so they are just “perfect”.  We want each year to be memorable to whoever we’re responsible for.  Sometimes you can wear yourself out over things that only you will notice and may not matter at all.

Your adult holidays will never be the same as your childhood holidays.  It’s easy to fall into wishing things were like they used to be.  This adds stress to an already stressful time.  So reduce your holiday stress by eating well, giving what makes sense, saying “no” to invitations that are not possible and decorate as you wish to the point it gives you joy!

Do you have any tips to overcome wanting to return to childhood?  What do you do to reduce holiday stress?  Share your comments below.

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