Repair

You’ve started the process of clearing out the old unneeded and wanted “STUFF” that clutters up your desk, closets, drawers and shelves.  As you’re going through this process you may find some items in need of repair.  You may also find some relationships in need of repair.  Here are some thoughts about repairs.

Thought 1:  Can’t be fixed.  If you have a plate that has a chip, it can’t be fixed – throw it out – you will never use it.  This goes for anything that can’t be repaired, it’s taking up valuable space and energy that could be replaced with something you love.  Apply this to your relationships too.  If a relationship can’t be repaired and you refuse to change your approach, make the decision to let it go to allow others into your life.

Thought 2:  Fix it.  Make a list of all the things that need to be fixed.  You may need to touch up some paint in your office, fix a drawer that is stuck, replace a broken door knob.  Items, no matter how small, that aren’t fixed take up a bit of energy.  Start at the top of your list and fix one item per week; you’ll be amazed with how this makes you feel.

Relationship fix:  Ask yourself why you want the relationship, which is currently estranged.  I’ll use the example of a business friend who is estranged from her former employee who wants to re-establish the relationship because of a friendship they once had.  These steps can work with any relationship.

Step 1:  Accept that both individuals are absolutely right in their feelings and past actions.  Both have said unkind things to each other.  Both have justified their actions to their spouses, friends and other family members.

Step 2:  The need to be right for both is what is keeping them apart.  As long as the strong egos continue there can’t be a reconciliation.  Get real – is the need to be right more important than the benefit of the relationship – in this case re-establishing their friendship?

Step 3:  Make the other person right.  To re-establish a relationship with her former employee, the employer needs to apologize, say she is sorry for all that has gone on in the past and that her employee/friend is absolutely right – no matter what she says.  You may experience harsh words coming from the other person – think of this as a test to see if you are serious.  If you are serious about re-establishing the relationship, you’ll respond to those harsh words with “you are absolutely right”.  Let go of your ego and your need to be right – it’s the price you need to pay to re-establish the relationship.

Step 4:  Keep your mouth shut.  As time goes on, you may be tempted to share your opinion or give some advice.  Keep it to yourself – forever.  Your goal is to maintain and build the relationship.  Only share your opinion or give advice if specifically asked – and be very careful not to offer too much.

If you’re unwilling to go through these steps, accept that the relationship is not a priority with you.  Let it go and move on.

What needs to be repaired in your life?  In your business?  Leave your comments below.

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